And I got nothing…

When you wanted to write yet you cannot think of anything to write about nor having the deep desire (Hugot) to write about anything. That moment when you got nothing but your fingers wanted to type these letters and eagerly wanted to write about whatever.

My emotions are suited in this kind of Hot Weather (Halo-Halo eh). Earlier I was happy then became worried after how many minutes. Then suddenly went crazy because of something that I am the only one who can understand (Not mentioning my Savior who knew every single thoughts in my head). Weird right? Or is it just natural for me to be Bipolar sometimes (by the means of that most of the times).

It’s already 1 am in the morning, I should be sleeping now but here I am writing something I don’t know where it will lead me and sipping a nice and hot coffee. Still got no ideas to write about, I guess there are really things that doesn’t work together for good (parang tayo char, where did that come from??).  

Tears are falling, as if it has it’s own life. I can feel a little sadness inside of me nevertheless I have peace because I know I am secured. I felt guilty although no one is accusing me of something. But I know there’s something wrong and I’d be lying if I will say that I don’t even know it. I just need to accept the truth, it hurts but I know it will set me free (Amin na lang ni Lord to). 

Maybe I don’t even need to have a specific topic to write about, I am pretty sure that I just wanted someone to talk to (or mapaglalabasan ng kung ano man). I know I should be talking to Him (or sabi nga nila magsumbong sa Kanya) but it seems like my guts flee together with my dreams (char). But what is for sure is I will definitely go back on the track. All I need is fresh air (because the city is filled with pollution ugh). I can always go back to Him right? The main problem will be is “If I will”, well of course I WILL.

This madness should stop and so this blog. Okay? I miss my Mom. 😦


The Calligraphy Enthusiast,

Yan ❤


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